Press releases: You’re doing it wrong

I get sent press releases and so on quite a lot, mostly from bands wishing to play Foxes and Convicts.

Some are good, but some are truly awful – I’ve removed the name to preserve their dignity, but check out this prime example of a press release that looks like it should be from The Big Book of Awful Press Releases.

*Bandname* are a three piece no frills rock n’ roll band that makes a sound that can only be described as white noise.
This band smells very much of the same beautifully self destructive punk rock as those early Stooges recordings while employing a Hendrix style philosophy of the guitar as a means of self expression.

More than anything they care so immensely about what they’re doing that they play with what can only be described as religious devotion and execute it all with drive of a junk up racing horse!
This band would die for rock n roll.

Having undergone several line up changes in the past year *Bandname* is now a complete unit and with the newly recorded EP entitled *EP Name* the band is ready to take over the world!

My favourite bit is

This band would die for rock n roll.